ben blum is so sweet i am lucky to have found a guy like him. the other night when i was painting in my bedroom he came in and started peeing everywhere(knowing everything he touches turns to gold) i really appreciated that. my paintings have been lacking something lately. and i think pee is it. what ben doesn't know is that i have been collecting his pee for a few weeks now. you never know when its going to come in handy. the next day i felt like he wasn't giving me enough attention. it was 1pm in the afternoon and we had only spoken on the phone about five times. i got a little worried. i decided to storm over in a man rage. ben answered the door and i gave him a great big hug. but he seemed a little annoyed. this upset me. why wasnt he happy to see me? he sat on the sofa sleepy eyed as if he had just woken up from a nap (whatever)
i screamed "I THINK I HAVE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER!!"
"you are just saying that for attention"
"ITS ONE OF THE SYMPTOMS!"
ok fine we changed the subject and ate falafels and he fell back to sleep.
i was bored now
i thought about poking holes in the condoms